sodomymcscurvylegs:

sodomymcscurvylegs:

I had the WORST fucking nightmare last night that I took a Lyft up a mountain pass in a super dangerous road and my driver was like this super fly 80 year old lady who didn’t give a single fuck and drove recklessly, and I was SCREAMING the entire time that we were gonna die, and at one point she drove off the road straight off a cliff and I thought “THIS IS IT, THIS IS HOW I GO” but she pressed a button and her car fucking TURNED INTO AN AIRPLANE and she was like: “BET YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA DIE! NOT TODAY BITCH, NOT TODAY!”

I woke up EXHAUSTED. 

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OH MY GOD ???


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SML